Ette

We’d gone back and forth, back and forth on a name and middle name for Tiny Dancer.

We had a name picked out, and then found out she was a girl, and our favorite girl name wasn’t our favorite anymore.

We looked at websites and books that Aaron claims were not created for people with normal baby names (we actually saw the name “Baby” listed as a girl’s name) and then threw the books on the floor and gave up.

And then one day, it just came to me. I loved it and he loved it and we loved the way it sounds with our last name and SHE HAD A FIRST NAME!

But she needed a middle name that fit with her first and last name and that also met the qualifications for middle-naming-a-girl on my mom’s side of the family. The tradition is for each of us to have a middle name that ends in “ette” and if you follow me on Twitter or know my email address, you’ve probably figured by now that my middle name is Janette. My mom is Lynette, my sister is Yvette and my aunts and cousins are Suzette’s and Collette’s and Danette’s and lots of things in-between.

{In order, from my oldest aunt to my youngest cousin: Annette, Lynette, Suzette, Collette, Mynette, Janette, Lynette, Yvette, Annette, Danette, Colette} (Yes, there are repeats. Some are after their own mother, others are named after an aunt.)

Aaron's mom's middle name is Lynn and since my mom's middle name is Lynette, it made sense that our daughter's middle name would be Lynette.

But you know that her middle name isn't Lynette.

Aaron called me one afternoon and suggested the name "Jolette". He had talked with his dad about how my family had the "ette" tradition but he wanted it to be unique, something that no other female had already. Aaron's dad suggested Jolette, which incorporated the "ette" and Aaron's middle name, Joel.

I admit, I wasn't immediately in love with it, mostly because I wanted us to name our daughter and not have influence from someone else. This is part of the reason I didn't want to tell anyone her name before she was born.

Aaron's dad passed away a couple of weeks later.

He'd known our daughter as McKinley Jolette.

We didn't really even talk about her name after that. I just knew that it would be so important to Aaron that we used the name his dad suggested.


And so she is.

It fits her perfectly, our sweet Kinley Jo.

one month.

mckinley turned one month old yesterday.

i don't have adequate words for the feelings i experience every time i look at our daughter.

has it been one month already?

the only postpartum depression i've experienced is knowing that i have to go back to work. i'm not making light of postpartum depression, i'm being serious. i can't stand that i have to go to work and be away from my best girlfriend. we have a pretty good deal, though, and she'll be able to go to work with me for the first couple weeks i'm back. then daddy will be home with her during the winter because his job is seasonal. when he goes back to work in march, we'll have to figure something out, but i can't live in anticipation of that time. i have to enjoy this time, and be thankful for this day.

i should probably write out her birth story so i don't forget any details. and i need to tell you the story behind her name. but for now, i want to look at her while she sleeps on my lap. and i need to go fill up my cookie bowl.

The way she smells.

I cannot hold her close enough, smell her enough, kiss her enough. She smells like sweet milk and the things that heaven must surely be made of. Her cheeks are soft and thick, her eyes dark like the night.

I lift her to my shoulder, she turns her head in toward my neck, and I wonder if she knows that this makes me weak in the knees.

She is my sweet little princess, my best friend.