this blog is about to get incredibly honest

i am not perfect and my life is messy and why not make fun of it while you can, right? i did not wear the same pair of pants to work 3 days last week. they are not comfy and do not look like pajama pants. i'm a professional, i would never! nope, not me. i did not take 7 (count 'em, 7) pregnancy tests last week because my period is late. i would never waste all that money on those tests just because aunt flo isn't here yet and i would just pee my pants if two lines showed up. eh, not me! i did not yell at my husband because he wants me to spend my whole Christmas vacation with his friends. that would be selfish and i, for one, am never selfish. not this girl. i did not buy a training collar for my dog because he bites me all the time, and i did not shock him when he ate my baked potato right off the table as i put the butter in the fridge. that would be nonsense. and as i type today, i do not wish for my husband to feel better, so that we can not sit together and cuddle on the couch and watch ellen. he would never watch ellen, not him. :) more "not me" over here.